Why do we put ourselves through such unnecessary turmoil? Why do I put myself through it? There are articles telling us the 7, 10, 30 and 102.463 ways to know we're the one, and we stupidly buy into that shullbit. The signs aren't some secret, subtle hints, but are very simple and damned near average actions; such as: meeting his family& friends, coming to you when he's feeling down, wanting to sit and watch TV with you when you're feeling less than sexy, and most shockingly: telling you that he wants a relationship with you. Yeah, I know. Men say things all the time, but if a man tells you that he wants a relationship, he means it. Not saying that he won't continue to wander and will be completely faithful and honest, but he wants you to be his "main." We, as women, tend to over-think where men are concerned, so here's my simple advice: Let 'em be men! If you've let someone know that you're interested in him, leave it at that. He'll do with it what he feels he needs to. Men are anxious where choosing companionship is concerned because contrary to popular belief, they have feelings. They have so much more at stake when they invest their hearts because only a few women will ever receive that special part of them. Women are emotional, but resilient, and if our hearts get broken, we usually learn from it and keep going. Men usually harden their hearts a little more and some of them even fall into the trap of being so non-trusting that they settle for a woman who is nowhere near being everything he wants just so he doesn't have to have his heart broken again. I know it sounds strange, and no, I haven't figured men out. They're just as, if not more, complicated than we are. I know women are just hardwired to behave a certain way when it comes to affairs of the heart (and I'm a Scorpio, so I have a double-dose), and telling a woman to let something go is like telling a rooster to lay an egg. It's not happening. We really have to be fed up or just simply let our hearts work through their own longings. I've been trying to convince myself for the past 5 months to let this guy go, and I even put him on a timeline (APRIL 24th BABY), but sometimes, I think God is looking at me and saying: You may feel like that's what you need to do, but do you really want to? And He's right. Do I really want to let this guy go? He's neither doing me any good nor harm in my life, but why do I continue to pray for someone to come along and distract me from him? If I know that I should leave him alone, should I need another man to come into my life to concede that point? I shouldn't, but I do. Why? Because as long as there is no one else in my life who can capture my heart the way that he did, he's going to remain in that capacity. Even after he's done with whatever he's going through, it doesn't mean that I'll be the one that he decides to turn to. We steer ourselves down this path, hoping that one day, the men that we want or love will wake up with the grandest of epiphanies, and pour out their hearts to us. Unfortunately, that's usually reserved for Hollywood.
So how do we ease the pain of not knowing whether we're the one or not? Is it pretending that we're a lot stronger than we are by quoting songs and scriptures? Is it going out and having a few drinks? Is it learning a new hobby? It's actually all of those things, but at the same time, letting your heart do what it does. If you have any connection with who you are as a person, you know that your heart knows how to heal itself. People discredit the heart, calling it deceitful, and such. What is deceitful is our minds trying to fool our hearts into not feeling. The joy we feel when thinking of someone we love, as well as the cry that we have over the unknown where that person is concerned is therapeutic and our hearts know it.
In all honesty, it's okay to want that man and to long for him because he may have made you feel like no one else in the world has been able to make you feel. But once you've laid your feelings out for him, and if you care, you have to trust in love enough to let him be. Chances are, he's taking everything that you've said to him, as well as your actions, into consideration. So, don't fret just because you feel like he didn't notice the dress, or the way you touched his hand. It doesn't mean he didn't. It's possible that you may have stayed on his mind the entire night, next day or even that week. He may come around, he may not. You may be the one, you may not, but when seeking true love, know that you're asking for something that is so rare and so deep that only the most patient of people can find it and only the most courageous of them can survive it...
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