I read on article on Time.com about how men's expectations of sex may be ruined by pornography and I had no choice but to comment on this for some reason. If anyone knows me, they know that I'm an advocate for the REAL woman, which means I believe in the female body in its most natural form. Our society has been plagued by images of women as Barbies, the Lady Gaga's, the Beyonce's, the Angelina's, etc. Women are putting themselves through hell (and have even died) to look like these women because unfortunately, all of us have either not separated reality from fantasy, or we think that looking like them, talking like them, dressing like them will make us better candidates for getting a man. Truth is, after all of the effort we've put into looking like them, we find out that our ideal man is perhaps into something different altogether, especially when it comes to finding something long-term.
All of us don't have bodies that are just immune to fat, so we have to workout extra hard, watch our carb, sugar, fat, sodium, maybe even water intake (if we're really unlucky); and then some of us, like me, just kind of let go. I'm definitely not the same size I used to be in high school, and frankly, I wouldn't care to be, but all of us haven't gotten to the point of being accepting of who we are yet. We consistently obsess over our looks, hair, and weight. And God-forbid a new trend that men go crazy over comes out. We get confused all over again.
Back to the subject though. So many people have so many different opinions about porn, but the reality is, it's always going to be part of our society. A lot of people won't admit to watching it, but hey, just like it's their right to watch it, it's their right to deny watching it as well. So, is it ruining men's expectations from their partners? Yes, and no. The same way a woman with a toy dependency may have her expectations altered. Men with actual addictions (or ridiculous self-esteems) seem to be the ones with the problems. They look at images of sometimes beautiful women (let's face it, the porn industry is not all about facial features) with these average-looking guys, doing things that would make the Marquis de Sade blush, and they think they're actually entitled to the same. They neglect to remember that those people are getting paid based on the shortcomings of people like them.
In my humble opinion, I think average men who believe women should be like porn stars, should get to be with one at least once. That way they'll see that a good percentage of pornography is truly acting. A woman (excuse the vernacular) getting banged by two, three and four men in several orifices can't possibly feel like a champ every single time. She took it, but I guarantee her paycheck was on her mind throughout the ordeal. On top of that, the average man won't have the necessary stamina for a porn star, mainly because one sequence may take a week to shoot. And do you know any men who can have sex for 168 hours straight? I dang sure don't. It's not to say that all women do their parts in keeping their men interested, but that's a completely different topic that could go on for ages; but men would see that their expectations were completely blown out of proportion.
In short, we really have be careful of who we place labels on. Some men watch it, use it as a tool and keep going with their lives. On the other hand, some men watch it, watch it some more, and become addicted to it, and I believe the skewed realities, unrealistic expectations and compromised libidos are signs of those addictions.
So, does porn spoil the expectations of real-life sex for men? Absolutely--maybe...
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